Reuters – A million Scots living outside of Scotland should be allowed to vote in a referendum this year on whether their country becomes an independent nation, one of them said on Monday as he sought backing for a legal challenge.

This is an important issue as it has been revealed today, that there will be a program of forced repatriation from the UK, should Scotland vote for independence.

National  Coaches and Virgin Trains have both been approached by the Home Office, to start the planning of special ‘Take them all back’  services.

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A proposal for a Bill to make it an offence to purchase sex, which has been put forward by Rhoda Grant MSP, will look into extending the offence to those people who are having sex with a partner who no longer likes them.
It has been calculated that there are many wives who are providing sexual services to their husbands, just to get the mortgage paid, or the kids provided for, and this will put their husbands technically in breach of this new law.

It is proposed that once a year, married women will be asked if they still fancy their husbands, and if the answer is a resounding ‘No’, then the husband will be given a verbal warning, and if he persists in having sex with his wife, will be fined, and possibly imprisoned.

Mary Leek from Relate, says “We see many, many couples where women are just having sex because they feel they have to keep the peace. Given the choice, they would rather be celibate, or at least shag someone they fancy, even if its only a bit”
“The size of the problem is enormous; we calculate that 40% of all marriages come into this category”

Dr Richard Slicker from the pharmaceutical giant Bonsento, has noted that there has been a rise in the purchase of ‘Menstrumake’, a drug which will cause women to menstruate whenever taken. “It gives them an excuse not to have sex”, says Slicker, “but not in all cases. We are currently developing a product which will produce a nasty looking rash around the front bottom area”

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