The signs have gone out, and people have started to count the various species of wild birds in the gardens likely to be affected by the trial area.

RSPB says

There is no denying that pet cats kill garden birds. Many people are distressed and angered by someone else’s cat killing birds in their garden. Many cat owners want to stop cats killing birds.

Well, with the help of the EDDC, the people of Bere Regis are going to see if they can solve the problem. Bert Rogers, a keen Ornithologist in the area says.

It might seem strange to some people to get the council involved, but they do have the necessary experience, and , by the way, have you seen just how much a bloody vet would charge.

But not everyone is so enthusiastic. Mrs Ida Penny from Bere says

I can see that my cat is responsible for killing some birds, he used to bring them into the kitchen, still flapping.. but they should have mentioned the downside. Arthur has been regularly missing the litter tray and has nearly got run over twice.

It seems that until the bird count is completed, it is unsure whether this scheme will be rolled out to other areas in Dorset.

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Reuters – A million Scots living outside of Scotland should be allowed to vote in a referendum this year on whether their country becomes an independent nation, one of them said on Monday as he sought backing for a legal challenge.

This is an important issue as it has been revealed today, that there will be a program of forced repatriation from the UK, should Scotland vote for independence.

National  Coaches and Virgin Trains have both been approached by the Home Office, to start the planning of special ‘Take them all back’  services.

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A proposal for a Bill to make it an offence to purchase sex, which has been put forward by Rhoda Grant MSP, will look into extending the offence to those people who are having sex with a partner who no longer likes them.
It has been calculated that there are many wives who are providing sexual services to their husbands, just to get the mortgage paid, or the kids provided for, and this will put their husbands technically in breach of this new law.

It is proposed that once a year, married women will be asked if they still fancy their husbands, and if the answer is a resounding ‘No’, then the husband will be given a verbal warning, and if he persists in having sex with his wife, will be fined, and possibly imprisoned.

Mary Leek from Relate, says “We see many, many couples where women are just having sex because they feel they have to keep the peace. Given the choice, they would rather be celibate, or at least shag someone they fancy, even if its only a bit”
“The size of the problem is enormous; we calculate that 40% of all marriages come into this category”

Dr Richard Slicker from the pharmaceutical giant Bonsento, has noted that there has been a rise in the purchase of ‘Menstrumake’, a drug which will cause women to menstruate whenever taken. “It gives them an excuse not to have sex”, says Slicker, “but not in all cases. We are currently developing a product which will produce a nasty looking rash around the front bottom area”

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